Friday, December 7, 2007

sidestreet stream of consciousness

it was raining tonight, so i kept my radio at a low volume, which usually lends to deeper thinking while i'm driving. i don't know why, it's just how it is. and yes, i meant radio. i have nothing fancier in my beat up truck. i thought i'd invite y'all to strap on your seatbelts and hop into the passenger seat of my brain and take a ride with me on the way home. the shit i think about. green light.

fuck, it's raining. i should probably get my window fixed. is my seat wet? yes. that means i can't wear these jeans tomorrow. really, i should get it fixed. but i'm too stubborn...oh, well. heater on? check. it's almost 3am, so only drunks and PAs are on the road right now, so i'm taking the side streets. if i fucking die tonight because some asshole tricked himself into believing he was sober enough to sail across the shitty LA streets in the middle of a...well, i wouldn't call it a RAIN STORM, but it's California and everyone knows none of us know how to deal with any sort of weather other than 70 degrees and sunny...i will die. and, fuck. i have clothes all over my floor. if i die tonight because of that drunk asshole and they have to go clear out my stuff, they are going to find 150 pairs of my underpants on the floor. that alone should be reason enough for me to stop throwing my underpants on the floor. i should probably just start basing all of my decisions on whether or not i want to be known for them when i'm dead. ugh. elton john should never be allowed to cover beatles songs. ohhh, but michael buble sings a wonderful "let it snow!" this place is awesome in the winter, i don't care what anyone says. snow is nice to visit, but sunshine is the only place i want to live. all these fucking transplants come to LA and are all complainy about how WARM it is during the holidays and i just want to be like "UGH. then go back home and make snow angels and blog about how awesome it is, asshole." anyone who prefers to spend three straight months in dismal, gloomy, frozen weather is certifiably insane. and did you ever notice how much happier santa looks when he's wearing those little shorts and a hawaiian shirt while carrying a surfboard? i rest my case. but i really do love this place. i'll never drive through hollywood without thinking of how lucky i am. whether or not any of them come true, this place is fueled on dreams. everyone here has them. most of them forget them, but little things like the hollywood sign poking out between the trees in your office parking lot make you remember why you came. even me, who's been here all my life. it's probably the reason i've never left. oh, good song. i will never stop wanting to make out with a guy to "glycerine" by bush. who did i have a crush on when this song came out? oh, haha. josh charlton. i posted something on his facebook today...i'll have to see if he kept it. nothing is cooler than saying you lost your virginity to the school mascot, even if it takes you 10 years to appreciate its full greatness. speaking of virginity, here's another great song to make out to. "magic man" by heart is honestly one of the sexiest songs ever recorded. and i truly believe that all generations can appreciate that. if my grandma were still hooking up with dudes, i'd put this on a mix for her. oh, that's where i went to that insanely overpriced therapist for one day and basically cried for the entire hour without stopping. she was a jerk. i am never eating at that salad place again. once i found out that i probably got poisoning because there was some form of poo in my salad, i almost made the decision to stop eating salad altogether. but that's...not a wise choice. god, i hope it's not raining on my way into work tomorrow. look at that dude. it must really suck to homeless in the rain. man, if there's a fucking bum in my stairwell, i'm going to have a heart attack. shit, did i leave my sliding door unlocked? that bum is probably sleeing in my bed instead of my stairwell. i'm sleeping in my car.


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