Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Frodo can suck it.

I broke out the footie pyjamas tonight, deeming October 9th National Jammie Jam Day. I encourage everyone to celebrate by purchasing your own set of footies. I got mine at Target a few years ago, but there are SEVERAL sites that sell a variety of styles. I'd like to say that the smell of dry leaves and fires burning in neighbors chimneys made me nostalgic and subliminally prompted me to put the footies on, but really...my feet were cold. But it's a season for me, footie season. Once I get in footie mode, I'm basically in lockdown for a few months. Hard to imagine, I know...what, with me being the summer's biggest lush and all...but it's true. I will drink myself silly (and into a foreigner's hotel room from time to time) every other day from June until September, and then October hits, or what I like to call "Octsober," and I become geriatric. I think footie season is my time to let my liver and kidneys take a little hiatus.

I'm going to have to break my winter vow of sobriety this week, as my dear friend Sunny is packing up and leaving the country. New Zealand, actually, and I fully intend to follow her there. This Friday is her going away party at our local haunt, and, keeping with the New Zealand theme, all attendants are required to show up in either Lord of the Rings attire, or the less challenging, less RIDICULOUS Flight of the Conchords. I'm not sure if I should be worried that my first instinct was to dress as Gandalf (not a hot elf, or even a slutty hobbit), or if I should celebrate that part of me. With even more consideration, I eventually decided to go with Gimli the dwarf. I feel like it will be the less popular decision, therefore allowing me to defend my high school superlative title of "most unique." If there is another Gimli there, I will boo him/her out of the bar. I was going to purchase the plastic battle axe that Gimli is never seen without, but I have a hard enough time carrying a purse around without losing it while I'm under the influence, let alone a battle axe. The evening is going to be glorious. Mainly because The King's Head (our joint) is normally packed with young, successful twenty/thirty somethings looking for a suitable mate to take home to their family for the holidays, or to their bed for the evening, and on this night they are going to be overwhelmed by an enormous crowd of kids flaunting their favorite LOTR digs. Nothing kills a boner faster than LOTR, so hopefully those assholes will skip out and let us geeks have the bar to ourselves. *fingers crossed* At the end of the night, I will stumble home drunk (only 7 blocks from my house!!!) and wake up the next morning only to realize that I a) drank way too much the night before, and b) that my friend Sunny is gone. I'm going to be depressed for a bit, but we've already decided that I will save every penny that I would normally spend on drinks out with Sunny (a considerable sum, believe you me) and put it right into my "I'm Following Sunny To New Zealand" fund. The plan is to make the move by spring.

I started this blog not because I think anyone wants to read what I have to say about anything, but because I need to keep myself motivated so I can actually make this plan come to fruition. As history will show, I am not much of a saver, but more of a spender. I may ask for advice or a kick in the ass from time to time, so be on the lookout.

And come to The King's Head this Friday, October 12th. But don't even think of showing up without some sort of costume. I will not even look your direction if you are dressed like a civilian.

"Hooray for most things!" - George Carlin



Christopher said...

Feet on pajamas suck. I'm sorry, but it's a fact. I'm sure I've told you this already, though...


articulicious said...

Hey Chris! Swedish people suck, too! But I'm sure YOU already knew that.

p.s. I love you.